Dreams

I seem to have quite a turbulent sleeping pattern. Which in an way is quite interesting, because now I have all these weird dreams. And I thought, since not much else it worth writing about, why not write about some of my dreams? Often when I wake up I want to go straight back to sleep, to get back to wherever I was in the dream.

So last night I was dreaming I was back in Melbourne. I don't know how or why, but I was on Bourke street, busking! So if I remeber it all correctly, someone had taught me how to sing again, and boy did it sound good! I was wearing bright red lipstick and felt absolutley gorgeuos! We were a group of about five people playing 1950's style music and making loads of money, which I later was spending on travelling to Broome in Western Australia. Although, I woke up before I could go there.

Another dream, perhaps a day dream, is about sittting on a sailing boat with my legs hanging outside of the edge. The sun is shining, it's nice and warm. I'm wearing a bikini and drinking a beer, sometimes it's a cocktail with one of those tiny umbrellas. I hear reggae music. Every now and then a wave splash over the boat and cools me down.
Now, I'm not entirely sure where I am. It may be Southeast Asia, the Caribbean, just outside of India... The place is not important, it's more about total relaxation.

There is this one dream, where I'm writing down my bucket list. On the list I remember writing things like:

• Swim in Devil's Pool, Victoria Falls
• Shark Cage Diving South Arfica
• Eat guinea pig South America (where did that come from???)
• Colour Festival India
• Go hiking in the very North of Sweden

Of course there are way more things on the list. There are so many things that I can't find a proper place to write it all down. No piece of paper big enough, the notes in my phone won't hold enough caracters etc. And so I wake up, and my whole day is ruined.

I dream about all these amazing places I want to go to, and wake up to see that I'm getting nowhere.

If I were to analyze this, it's quite obvious I want to travel around the world. Or, just get away from Sweden perhaps. But before everyone thinks I hate my own country (I do say that myself sometimes, but I'm not sure I mean it) I just want to say that you can love a place from a distance. Some people feel at home at some places and some people at other. It might not always be the certain city, region, country... I think, in my case, it's the person I am here. I'm lazy, unhealthy, bitter, unfocused. While traveling I was happy, curious, free. See, my challenge is to be my happy self. But in a place where I'm used to be the bitter one, I find it so difficult.

I need new experiences, see new things. I need the warmth of the sun. I need people who can teach me new things.

Can traveling be addictive? Did I get massive adrenaline rushes that i got hooked on? Am I on rehab now?

Maybe I want to be hooked? Or is that just an addict talking?

Now, this update didn't really turn out the way I though it would, but that's what happens when I let the words flow. It's a sort of cleansing of my mind, getting rid of all the rubbish stuck in there.

And speaking of stuff in my mind, wouldn't it be awesome to go to Germany and get drunk, then go to some awesome nightclub where they played Blümchen and Scooter all night? That would be bananas!

Also: hairless cats are cool. Potato.

Now my brain is empty. Yay.