Whining

There's a lot of things going on in my life at the moment, but at the same time absolutely nothing. I don't really know what I'm doing. It really scares me that I've been home for almost four months now. Whenever I day dream, which is a lot, I think about the life I had in Australia. I was so happy. So many nights I woke up from a really bad nightmare. I was dreaming about suddenly being home again, and it totally freaked me out. But here I am...

So what is up now? Hmm. Well I do have a job, it doesn't pay enough for me to be able to save anything though. That job really doesn't suit me. But I got another job as a tour guide, I'm going to Mallorca this summer, that will be fun! However, I wont be able to save any money from that job either, but at least it's a chance to get away a little bit. And a great source to get experiences.

I'm trying not to make this too whiney, so enough about that.

I've been thinking a lot about why I was so happy in Australia, and apparently so unhappy here. I'm not sure it's totally based on the actual place. But maybe the nature, the people I met, the weather etc were all added to the Martina who felt free? And whenever I stop and think about what my day dreams are about, they all end up with a life in Australia.

Yesterday I was all about going back and study tourism, and later become a travel agent or advisor. That would be a dream job! And every now and then take some time off work and actually go travel and see the places my costumers get to see.
But I found out studying in Australia is extremely expensive, and I just don't know how I will ever be able to afford it, since I'm just not able to save anything.
But then I thought, what if I, after a few seasons at Mallorca, go to Australia as a tour guide and then somehow work my way as to become a travel agent. But then again, that seems impossible too. I would have to be sponsored to be able to stay. And I don't see that ever happening, after all, there are a few more travel agents they can hire without having to pay for them. I'd have to be amazing for that to happen...


Yeah, way to go, it did end up whiney after all.